A Rant.

Just Let Me Complain in Peace.

Hi, my dearest reader.

Today, I’ve decided to write about my present. Someone, somewhere—a random philosopher, maybe—said that complaining is just a ploy to avoid doing the actual thing. Or maybe a way to stall. When I first read that, my immediate reaction was: Oh, so I can’t complain again? Because, if we’re being honest, sometimes a good, solid rant is the only thing holding me together. The least life could do is let me vent when I’m stressed. But apparently, I can’t do that anymore? Well, I refuse. So, in the spirit of defiance, I have chosen today to complain about everything on my mind. After this, I promise I won’t complain again—at least, not until next year.

First of all, let’s talk about the fact that I was born and now, all of a sudden, I’m responsible for my life. Nobody asked me if I wanted to be here, but here I am, expected to figure everything out like I signed up for this. I’ve had this conversation with so many people, and every single time, the answer is just vibes. No real clarity. Nothing concrete. Just “that’s life.” And don’t get me started on the existential questions because, apparently, I’m not allowed to ask them either. I remember asking, why am I alive? and a friend hit me with, “Unless you’re planning to be a philosopher paid for having an existential crisis, you need to stop asking existential questions.” So, I guess that’s that. I’ll still complain, though.

And another thing—why doesn’t life ever get easier? People love to say, “Oh, just keep going. It’ll get better.” But that’s a scam. If anything, it just gets harder. There’s always something new to figure out, a new level of stress, a new hurdle to jump over. It’s like life is coded to only increase in difficulty. And before someone tells me, “You haven’t even seen anything yet”—I know. That’s the point. I don’t want to see anything. I want to be soft. I want ease. I need the people with the cheat codes to hit me up because, honestly? It’s crazy out here.

Also, why is nothing ever linear? Can’t things just be straightforward for once? Why is everything waves—up and down, back and forth, a constant mess? I mean, sure, some things are predictable: work hard, work smart, get results. But even that isn’t always true. Because sometimes, you work hard, you do everything right, and life still decides to treat you like an unpaid intern.

Now, let’s talk about the fact that I need money to exist. Nobody prepared me for how expensive it is to simply be alive. When I was younger, I thought money just magically appeared once you became an adult. Like one day, you’d wake up, and boom—your account would be full of funds. Lies. Now, even though I don’t earn money yet, I can already see how life is set up to drain pockets.

And since we’re here, let’s talk about school. I won’t call it the biggest scam, but it’s definitely up there in the ranks of places that do not make sense. First, there are the lecturers who seem to think their salary is directly proportional to how much they stress students. Like, calm down. You’re getting paid regardless, so what’s with the extra wickedness? Then there’s the general suffering—assignments, deadlines, classes at ungodly hours, and people who don’t know what personal space means. And don’t even get me started on group projects. Just know that if I ever commit a crime, it’ll be because someone made me do a group project with unserious people.

Speaking of people, another thing I’d like to complain about is having to tolerate them. Some days, it’s fine. Other days, it’s purely the grace of God and the fear of suspension that stop me from fighting people’s children. Like, why is it so hard for some people to just be normal? Why do people lack self-awareness? Why do I have to mentally prepare myself before dealing with human beings? These are the real questions.

And the network? Oh, let’s talk about the network. Because what in the actual hell is going on? How is it possible that in this age of technological advancement, I still have to do acrobatics just to get a single bar of network? I could be standing in the same spot, and somehow, my connection will fluctuate from 4G to “E” to just plain hopelessness. The worst part? The internet is not a luxury. It is essential. I need it to check emails, submit assignments, stay connected to the outside world, and most importantly, escape from the stress of school. But no. Instead, I find myself moving from one end of the hostel to another, searching for that one corner where my network works. It’s ghetto.

Now, on top of all this stress—on top of having to navigate the madness that is life—I am also a girl. Let’s just take a moment to process that. Because if there’s any species more endangered than lions, tigers, and pandas combined, it is women. Nothing about life as a woman is easy. The double standards, the safety concerns, the unsolicited opinions, the everything.

And then, as if life hadn’t already done enough damage, there are periods. Like, let’s actually talk about it. Why do I have to bleed every month for free? The cramps, the mood swings, the fatigue, the fact that my own body is betraying me monthly—and what do I get in return? Nothing. The worst part is that it’s just accepted. “Oh, you’re in pain? That’s normal.” HOW IS THAT NORMAL? Who decided this? Where was the vote? I would like to opt out.

And before I wrap this up, let me acknowledge that I know what the Bible says:

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” — Philippians 2:14

I hear you, Apostle Paul. But please, give me today as an exception. Just this one day. Because if I don’t get this off my chest, I might just combust.

Anyway, this is me, officially airing my frustrations. Complaining is a form of self-care, and I will not be robbed of it. So, dear reader, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for indulging me. I promise I’ll be more positive tomorrow.